Ouch.

Are We Different?- Priscilla Ahn

I sometimes for get how scary Oak Bay was for me. I forget what it was like to go to my first class every morning, only waiting to go back home and sleep and pretend school didn't exist. How I ate lunch alone, every single day without fail, unless I was in choir. How I first experienced depression, and had no one to tell something as simple as "Today wasn't the greatest day". How instead of anyone being the least bit supportive, I got ridiculed and ignored, more so on bad days. If it was lip curls or fake smiles I came across, it was nothing. In retrospect, I'm glad it happened, because it helped me grow, but I wish that I had just one good friend who I could count on, and who understood what I was going through. I'm over it now, but over these past few nights I've been having crazy nightmares about my worst fears from that experience. I know it's totally wuss, and that it's a cuddly puppy compared to most high school experiences, however that only makes me more confused as to why it affected me so hugely. However, there were bright sides to it. 2 years later. I learned how to keep afloat without friends, and not depend on people all the time. I learned how to read people so much better, and know who my true friends were (except the latter didn't happen until extremely recently). I learned to appreciate what I have now, with teachers who know my name and are aware of my existence, people waving and smiling at me all the time, and being able to feel like, even though I don't have anyone like my best friend anymore, I still have people who will listen. I'm ok with my life now, and it took a really long time, but I think without the painful awkward experience, I wouldn't have reached that point.